Does heartbreaks transform people into unloving, vile or heartbreakers? This is as much a debate as it is a question. This is the usual narrative: that a person who is faithful and committed, experiences a heartbreak or a form of betrayal from their partner or love interests and the experience alters their perception of love and transforms them into monsters who are serial heartbreakers.
Now, the question is, is an experience enough to transform someone from faithful to uncommitted? Or are people just bad for no reason, regardless of whatever experiences they might have had with love? So earlier today I collected some opinions from some folks on what they feel about this, and I had interesting feedbacks.
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Juliet, a stylist, insisted that no one could hold anyone responsible for whatever they did to other people. According to her, no matter how bad one was treated in an earlier relationship, it was no excuse to become a player. In her words, “just because one person broke your heart doesn’t mean that automatically become an asshole. You can’t blame your actions on a wrong done to you by someone else.”
In agreeing with Juliet, Piriye also posited that people only used the heartbreak story as a leverage to justify their actions. A player is a player, he said, whether or not anyone broke their hearts.” Everyone has been hurt by love in one way or another”, he started, “but you don’t see everyone suddenly becoming serial players just because they’d been hurt before.”
Kunle however, had a different opinion. According to him, an initial bad experience with love was strong enough to make one totally disenchanted with the fantasy of true love, thereby making them unwilling to make efforts to keep a commitment. He further explained that certain people went through such bad experiences with a partner that it affects their perception of an emotional connection with other people. He also said that one could go through an experience so terrible that it poisons their hearts and makes them vengeful, thereby making scapegoats of everyone who eventually passes through their lives.
Going by these arguments, it’s tricky to say exactly if past relationships are capable of influencing one’s attitude towards love. Can past heartbreaks, whether a single one or a multiplicity of them, transform one into a heartbreaker? We’d like to know what you think about that.