In recent times, there has been a question that has been reoccurring in the Nigerian cyber space in the form of:
“Why are Nigerian feminists fighting mundane things like cooking and who will do domestic duties instead of focusing on more important things like women empowerment?”
Here is my twopence on that:
You see, you can’t focus on the big fights if you can’t win the small fights. Western feminists are fighting the big fights because they have conquered the mundane stuff. Equality begins at home. Those little little domestic gender differences is what shapes the bigger cause. You can’t fight for equality in your professional environment if you haven’t conquered that in your own house. How are you going to let a woman rule your establishment (and government) when you are still forming Indomitable Leader at home?
These little things matter most. You let your 20 year old son live his bachelorhood on his own, in his own terms, but your 23 year old daughter cannot leave home to stay on her own even though she’s a graduate. You pepper your daughter up on modesty and morality and how her virginity is her pride but your son is changing his third girlfriend in a year and you are not concerned. These things matter. These things affect the “greater fight”. If women cannot conquer these things they can’t conquer the greater one. Don’t tell them to focus on other things.
Lastly, when are men going to understand that it isn’t actually ‘Nigerian feminists’ that are concerned with trivialities but Nigerian men? The American woman tells her husband ‘honey, I’m not taking your surname after we marry’, the man says OK, fine. The Nigerian woman says she doesn’t want to take her husband’s surname after she gets married and all hell is let loose. It is the men who make it an issue, not the women.