4 Signs your Relationship is Headed For Its final Bus Stop

 Cover9ja Blog | Nigeria's Relationship, Political & Lifestyle Blog

We all love love, don’t we? For the very mushy of us, it’s hard to deal when our love lives have hit the rocks. Sometimes we find that the magic has petered out but we cannot quite detect the causes.

Here’s a disclaimer before you begin: This post is based on personal opinion. Any resemblance whatsoever to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely by coincident, magic,  miracle,  or witchcraft. Let’s get to it.

If your partner starts to behave like “we’re best friends, that’s it.”

Ideally, your other half is supposed to be your best friend.  However, you still need to have the urge to bunk them on a moment’s notice – but let’s face it, it’s natural, even if you don’t actually indulge in the act. You should be addicted to each other like hard drugs.  Of course maintaining passion at the same level for an extended period of time is an uphill task; it can fluctuate, and it can be there one day, gone the next, never to return. But chances are if the latter happens, and just after three weeks, it starts to feel like you’ve been dating for ages, you’re probably going to break up. There’s just your best friend who you accidentally ended up dating for a bit.

 Cover9ja Blog | Nigeria's Relationship, Political & Lifestyle Blog

“He’s an asshole, I have low esteem” 

If your partner is needy and you’re aloof, you’re in for a shitload of frustration. Take it from someone with ample experience. I’m not saying Ying and Yang don’t work anymore, but as a wise woman once said, “never date someone you have to mother.”  Relationship are compatibility. Of course differences are welcome, and can be complementary, but more often than not, people at extreme temperamental poles are recipes for disaster.

 “Class and Cash,  baby!”

Class and money  creates divides that no one likes to talk about because we’d like to think we’ve moved past it but that’s only denial. It’s funny because everyone has this idea of women going after rich men to become trophy wives. My people, I’ve seen the opposite happen. I’ve seen girls become cripplingly insecure about their own status and feel stressed when they couldn’t contribute financially. It comes down to having different lifestyles.

If you date someone who makes a shitload more money than you, chances are they go out to eat more, they travel, they go to movies and concerts. They do all of these things you can’t afford to do. So when that happens, you have to ask these questions, “are you comfortable scaling down your lifestyle for me, or am I okay with you paying for a lot of things?”

A Major Case of Inequality

People often say that in relationship, one person always has to love the other one more. I used to think this was true but now I think it’s bullshit. If one person isn’t meeting the other person halfway, or at least making attempts to, then, in street-speak: Na scam. I once dated one fine sister like that, it was clear that if I was a flaming red, she was pale pink. Worst thing, she couldn’t make up her mind to break things off, and I decided I’d make do with what I got. The end of us was a huge mess.

Do you have any more pointers to a failing relationship? Let us know in the comments.

5 Comments

  1. When dealing in relationships sex, money & power are all very relevant topics. Most romantic relationships struggle in one if not all three areas. But two other interesting components to a relationship that I did not realize were vital until I got married were RESPECT & CONSIDERATION. And one other component is do you consider your spouse or partner to be a PRIORITY. I must admit that my own marital relationship has suffered & failed for ALL of the reasons that I have listed. This article touched on some great aspects or signs of a declining relationship. I would be curious to read more on this topic of conversation. Thank you for sharing.

  2. When dealing in relationships sex, money & power are all very relevant topics. Most romantic relationships struggle in one if not all three areas. But two other interesting components to a relationship that I did not realize were vital until I got married were RESPECT & CONSIDERATION. And one other component is do you consider your spouse or partner to be a PRIORITY. I must admit that my own marital relationship has suffered & failed for ALL of the reasons that I have listed. This article touched on some great aspects or signs of a declining relationship. I would be curious to read more on this topic of conversation. Thank you for sharing.

  3. Thank you for commenting. Tara. Of course. I totally agree. For a relationship to be successful, both parties have to first work as friends, and those two traits mutual RESPECT & CONSIDERATION are vital ingredients for any human relationship to work out well.

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